


Listen to the Rain

by rebel_rebel_in_storybrooke



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Original Trilogy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-08-10 19:02:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7857397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebel_rebel_in_storybrooke/pseuds/rebel_rebel_in_storybrooke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Started writing this shortly after seeing Force Awakens in theaters, after coming home to a thunderstorm. I've always found storms soothing, thus this headcanon was born.</p><p>Beware of Episode VII spoilers</p><p>UPDATED: one final chapter, in honor of Carrie Fisher</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Leia couldn’t sleep. It’s not surprising, really, but she just thought she’d have been used to less than perfect sleeping conditions by now. It’d been two months since the destruction of the Death Star over Yavin IV, and the Rebels were currently based on another backwater world, far from the prying eyes of the Empire. The thing about makeshift bases on backwater worlds is, they don’t necessarily have what would be considered “modern” comforts. On this planet, like Yavin, they were utilizing an old temple. Meaning, for the most part, it was cold and drafty, and the walls were crumbling around them, so the ceilings tended to leak when it rained. All in all, her current living situation was as close to the opposite of her palace on Alderaan as Leia could imagine. As a result of this, and the general stress of leading an army and being in constant fear for their lives, Leia couldn’t sleep.

After tossing and turning yet another of the few hours she got to rest, Leia gave up and decided to go for a walk.

She mindlessly made her way through the winding halls of the base, trying not to stumble on any rubble or slip in a puddle in the dim light of the early morning. Eventually, she was able to kind of lose herself in the monotony of the halls, coming to an uneasy peace within her mind. So lost in the moment was she, that she didn’t notice the figure walking towards her until they crashed into one another.

“Hey, why don’t you watch where you’re going?” she snapped, finally looking up to see who she’d run into. “Oh, it’s you.”

“Hey, your worship, I was just walking here, no need to get snippy.” Han replied, picking the data pad he’d been reading up off the floor. “What are you doing wandering around, anyway? It’s the middle of the night, shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“If you must know, I was checking the external walls for any possible breaches. We don’t want just anyone walking in here out of the jungle, that’s just poor management.” she started rambling, stumbling trying to think of an excuse he wouldn’t see through. Judging by the smirk forming on his face, she was failing.

“Breaches in the outer wall, eh?”

“Yes.”

“Well, your highness, I’d like to report one, if you’re keeping track.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Well? Out with it, where is it?”

Han just smirked, slowly reaching for her shoulders. She tensed up, but relaxed slightly when he only began to turn her around. And then she sighed in defeat, shoulders sagging, as she was faced with a giant gaping hole in the wall, not ten feet behind her.

“So, wanna tell me why you’re really out wandering around so late? Or should I go get some panels to fix this wall?” 

Leia rubbed at her eyes as she turned back around, finally letting the exhaustion show. Han seemed to mellow at this, his smirk fading to a look of concern. “Hey, are you alright?”

“I can’t sleep.” With the adrenaline of their exchange gone, she began to feel the weariness of the past few months, her voice wavering. “It’s this place, I’m not used to drafty rooms or leaky ceilings, or gaping holes in the wall. I just-“ she trailed off there, not quite able to voice the true cause of her sleeplessness. Han placed a hand on her arm, rubbing gently.

“You miss Alderaan.” She nodded, looking to the floor, unable to meet his eyes. She wasn’t used to this side of him. Normally so cocky and smug, seeing him soft and caring was a bit unnerving, but she found she didn’t mind it. “Look, there’s not really anything I can do or say that’ll make that particular pain go away, but you need to rest. Come on, I’ll walk you back to your quarters.”

She nodded again, and they began the walk back. He didn’t speak the whole way there, but he’d slung an arm over her shoulders. It was a comforting weight, and a much needed support as her weariness set in. Normally, she’d never have allowed him such a familiar gesture, but she found that, not only did she like being so close to him, but that this was his own way of helping. He may not be good with words, but these small gestures spoke for him.

Once they’d reached her room, he walked her in and steered her over to her bed. She all but fell down on it, and he let a hint of a smile show through.

“You gonna be alright?” he asked.

“I’m exhausted, but I still don’t know if I’ll be able to get any actual rest. Every time I close my eyes, my mind just goes into overdrive, thinking about everything that needs done. Everything and everyone I’ve lost…” she trailed off. Han sat down next to her, a soft look on his face. She glanced up at him, questioning.

“Do me a favor, princess. Lay down, I’ve got an idea.” She narrowed her eyes at him. He put his hands up, chuckling a bit. “Completely innocent, here, I’ve just got a thought. Humor me.”

“If you try anything, flyboy, I swear…” she grumbled, but got comfortable under the covers anyway. “Ok, now what’s this thought of yours?”

“Close your eyes.” She threw him a disbelieving look. “What did I just say? Completely innocent. Trust me.” She rolled her eyes, but let them slide closed anyway. Han smirked.

“I can feel you smirking at me.” His face fell, momentarily caught off-guard.

“Shush.”

“Don’t shush me, Han Solo.”

“It’s all part of the plan, sweetheart. Now, shush.” They were both quiet for a few moments, letting the silence of the base surround them, and the sounds from outside seep in. “Now,” he spoke quietly, “what do you hear?”

She listened, hearing the wind blowing around the temple, whistling through the gaps in the walls. And she heard something she hadn’t noticed before; it was raining. Not hard, but it sounded like it was picking up, if the wind was any indication.

“It’s raining.”

“Yes it is. Now, I want you to just focus on the sound of the rain hitting the walls. Try not to think of anything else but that sound. Hear the weight of the rain drops as they hit the stone, listen to the rhythm as the wind blows it. Just listen.”

So she did. She could hear the steady dripping of one of the leaks in her room, the water hitting the floor and making a small puddle. She wasn’t sure how long she listened before she started to fade away into a calm sleep, but eventually the sound faded away to blackness. Just before she slipped away, she could’ve sworn she heard “Goodnight, princess.” and felt a brief, warm weight on her forehead. But that could’ve just been her imagination as she drifted into a dreamless sleep.

**************************

Han made his way back to the Falcon, a small smile on his face. She drove him crazy most of the time, but, he had to admit that Leia was starting to grow on him. He’d never admit it, but he enjoyed their arguments way more than he should, sometimes going so far as picking fights with her just for the hell of it. Half the Rebellion was afraid to be in the same room with the both of them. He chuckled.

In this base, there wasn’t room in the main area they’d designated as the aircraft hangar for the Falcon, so Han had to jog out to it through the rain. Once aboard, he took off his now wet jacket, hanging it up before making his way to the captain’s cabin. He kicked off his muddy boots and plopped down onto the bed, sighing and running a hand over his face. He made a mental list of everything he needed to do the following day, inwardly groaning at the tedium that came from being a respected figure of authority. This was definitely not where he saw himself ending up, but, he supposed, it wasn’t all bad. His mind wandered back to Leia, the budding feelings he had for her. Just for tonight, he wasn’t going to worry about it. He let the smile that the thought of her always caused consume his face, and he closed his eyes. And he listened to the rain.


	2. Chapter 2

Han and Leia stood a while longer out on the walkway, Han holding her close, trying to soothe away whatever was upsetting her that she couldn’t speak of. Whatever she and Luke had been discussing, it did not bode well. After a few more minutes, he took a half step back from her.

“Hey, how about we try to get some rest? We’ve got a big day tomorrow, and could both use a little shut-eye.”

She just nodded up at him, taking his hand as they made their way to the hut they were given. Wordlessly, they stretched out together on the thin, straw mat on the floor, Han holding her close as she lay with her back pressed to his front. He could feel she was still tense as he rubbed small circles on her hip with his thumb. He nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck, trying to calm whatever thoughts were plaguing her, and while she didn’t rebuff him, it also didn’t seem to be helping. At this rate, neither of them would end up sleeping, and that would put the whole mission in jeopardy. He decided to try another tactic: diversion.

“Tell me about Alderaan.” he whispered softly in her ear.

“What about it?” Her voice was distant, her thoughts clearly elsewhere.

“Well, what was it like growing up a princess? People waiting on you hand and foot, a line of suitors a mile long.” He tried to sound lighthearted at this (and not in the least bit jealous), chuckling slightly.

“Likely very different from how you’re imagining it.” Still, she was distant. 

“Different how?”

“What does it matter?” she snapped; adding a barely audible, “They’re all gone now anyway.”

“Look,” he began, holding her a bit tighter, “I wasn’t trying to bring up bad memories, I was just-“

“You were just, what?” she turned around to face him, propping herself up on her elbow, “What could you have been trying to do by bringing up the fact that everyone I knew is now dead? What were you possibly trying to accomplish?” She was fuming now. Granted, it was an improvement over completely detached, but not the direction he was aiming for. He leaned back and held up his hands in surrender.

“Hey, I was just trying to get your mind off of whatever it was you and Luke were talking about that’s got you so upset. I didn’t think you’d appreciate any of my other ideas of distracting you, so I thought I’d try talking. I picked a bad subject. I’m sorry. But you’ve gotta get some rest, sweetheart, or everyone who’s out there still depending on us to pull this thing off is also gonna die. And neither one of us wants that on our conscience.”

She deflated, collapsing back down onto the mat, welcoming the arms that pulled her to him as she curled up against his chest, head tucked under his chin.

“I don’t know how to let people in very well. I know you’re only trying to help. And you're right, there are more important things to worry about right now.” She spoke softly, hands fisting his shirt.

“Not more important, just more immediate. I’m not dismissing your problems, but you’re exhausted. We both are. And sometimes it’s just best to get some sleep and deal with things later.”

“I suppose you’re right. You do have your moments.” she gave a half-hearted chuckle, “So, what were your other brilliant ideas for distracting me?”

He leaned back until he could see her face, giving her a pointed look.

“Things a princess such as yourself would likely object to doing on the floor of a hut in the woods.” He smirked, winking at her. As she blushed, they grew quiet again, the tension dissipating. Just then, there was a crack of thunder from outside, making Leia jump closer to him. The thunder rolled on, and was followed soon after by the sound of rain pouring down, hitting the roof and the wooden paths outside.

“Hey, this gives me another idea.” He said, looking down at her, a soft smile playing at his lips. “Close your eyes, princess.”

She nodded, relaxing against him and letting her eyes fall shut. Han ran a hand gently through her hair and down her back, holding her close. Within a few minutes, he thought she was finally asleep. He placed a kiss on her forehead, closing his own eyes.

“I love you.” He whispered.

“I know.” Came her faint reply. He chuckled.

“Sleep, now, Leia.” There was only a barely-audible grunt given in reply. Han lay his head next to hers on the pillow, tucking her head under his chin, and finally was able to relax. He held her close, letting thoughts of tomorrow and their task slip away. He could feel her still loosely grasping his shirt, and he still had strands of her long hair woven through his fingers. He let everything about her and them and this one, single, moment envelop him, letting it become his whole universe. And he listened to the rain.


	3. Chapter 3

It didn’t rain very often on Coruscant, but when it did, it tended to storm fairly bad. It was on a particularly stormy night that five-year-old Ben Solo started having nightmares. Han and Leia were woken in the middle of the night by a scream from Ben’s room. They both bolted out of bed and ran to see what was the matter, fearing the worst. They found Ben sitting in his bed, arms wrapped around his legs, crying and shaking. Leia rushed to his side, sitting on the bed and pulling him onto her lap, his small arms wrapping around her middle as he buried his face in her hair. Han scanned the room for signs of an intruder, and, finding none, made his way over to sit next to Leia, wrapping an arm around them both. Han and Leia exchanged worried glances.

“Ben, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Leia asked softly, stroking his back and trying to ease his crying.

“B-b-bad d-d-dream.” he hiccupped through his tears, still shaking.

“It’s alright, pal, it’s over. We’re here, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” Han ran his fingers through the boy’s messy brown hair, finally getting him to look up at them. “You wanna talk about it?”

“There was this… man… he was scary. He was telling me to do things I didn’t wanna do.” He looked away. “Bad things…”

“Did you recognize this man? Do we know him?” Leia asked, growing more concerned by the second. Ben shook his head.

“No, but he knew me. Then, there was someone else, later. I think I was talking to grandfather.” He looked up at his parents.

Leia and Han looked at each other, the fear apparent in their eyes. They’d worried about this. They knew any children they had would likely be strong with the Force, but until now, Ben hadn’t been showing any signs of being tainted by the Dark Side. His abilities had been apparent for some time, but they thought they had the situation under control.

“Are you sure it was grandfather, Ben? Absolutely sure?” Leia asked, voice shaking as she started to tremble.

“I didn’t see him, but I think so. I saw his helmet. He was trying to help me with the bad man.”

Luke would later tell them that these were likely premonitions through the Force. Brief glimpses at a possible future, that they would have to do everything in their power to prevent happening. But for now, it was easier to dismiss them as nightmares.

“Hey, it was just a dream. Nothing to worry about, kiddo.” Han smiled down at him, glancing at Leia. “Let’s get you back to bed, huh?” Ben’s eyes widened with fear and he shook his head roughly, tightening his hold on his mother.

“No, I don’t wanna go back to sleep. I’ll have the dream again.”

“What if I could promise that you wouldn’t?” Han asked.

“How could you do that?”

“Simple,” he smirked, “see, I’ve got a bit of the Force myself. I’ve got a trick that works on nightmares every time. Ask your mom.” Ben looked up at Leia, seeking confirmation.

“He’s right.” she smiled, glancing out the window. “If it’s the trick I’m thinking of, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” Ben looked back to his father.

“Ok, here’s what I want you to do. Close your eyes, and listen.” Ben did as he was told, being very quiet, with a look of concentration on his face. “Now, what do you hear?”

“I hear the rain outside. And the wind and the thunder.”

“Good, now, what you’re gonna do is just focus on the sound of the rain. That’s it, you don’t need to do anything else. Just listen.”

Leia continued to softly stroke his back, keeping him cradled in her lap. Ben listened, not quite understanding how this was supposed to be helping. Eventually, though, the patter of the rain outside lulled him into a calmer state. He wasn’t thinking about the nightmare anymore, or worried about having it again. He just sat there quietly, mind slowly drifting off to sleep, listening to the rain. 

*********************************

Once Leia could feel his breathing even out, and hear little snores coming from him, she shifted on the bed and placed Ben back under the covers. Han wrapped an arm around her, holding her tight to him, the same thing on both their minds. They would later look back on this night as the beginning of the end, but, for now, they made their way back to bed, determined to keep their son safe. So they took comfort, wrapped up in each other, hoping desperately that their love would keep the evil at bay. They closed their eyes, trying not to think of what might be. And they listened to the rain.


	4. Chapter 4

He couldn't do it.

That's the thought that kept running through the mind of 16 year old Ben Solo as he paced in his room. 

After all they'd worked for, how far he'd come in his training, all they'd accomplished with the new generation of Jedi, how could he be expected to do what Luke asked of him? He understood the importance of his mission, the Sith could not be allowed to return, no matter the cost. But how could he possibly be strong enough to do what must be done? He'd likely never see his family again. He'd be hated. Branded a Sith and a murderer. And even if he did see them again, his parents would only see a monster. Another Darth Vader, doomed to his grandfather's fate. If only they knew… 

“Grandfather…” Ben called quietly, finally coming to a standstill in the middle of his room. “Please, I need your guidance.”

For a moment, nothing seemed to happen, but then the glowing force ghost of Anakin Skywalker appeared, his features troubled.

“Ben.” 

“Grandfather, please. I know what I must do, but fear I do not posses the strength to do it. What must I do?”

“You must do what you feel is right, of course. But know this: you have the chance to fulfill an age-old prophecy, bring balance to the Force once and for all.”

“But I thought you fulfilled that prophecy? That you were the chosen one?” Anakin shook his head. 

“I may have been the chosen one, but I only set in motion the chain of events leading to the ultimate balance. After all, there can be no light without the dark. This is something the Jedi could not grasp. They thought that the elimination of the Sith was what was foretold, but it wasn't. It was a cleansing of both Jedi and Sith. The two extremes were constantly, and always would be, in conflict with one another. Only by eliminating both and starting anew could true balance be achieved. If there is a Sith remaining, he must be eliminated, or the sacrifices of all those thus far will be made meaningless.”

Ben stood and thought on this a moment. It made sense. Given that his uncle's methods of teaching were far from those of the traditional Jedi, he could see the balance forming. But a Sith Lord could tip the scales back and plunge the galaxy into darkness. He looked up at Anakin.

“What Uncle asks of me… I do not have the strength to do alone.”

“Then I will show you the power of the Dark Side. Show you how to surrender to it, to wield it. I will help you, Ben, so that you will perhaps not struggle as I did. You must not lose sight of your true purpose, but you need to learn to guard it well. If this Sith is who Luke and I believe he is, you must commit completely to earn his trust. Only then will you be allowed close enough to bring him down.”

“I do not know how to hide this conflict. How will I ever gain his complete trust?” Ben pleaded with Anakin, eyes bright with unshed tears, face set in a pained grimace. Anakin smiled sadly, bringing a hand to his cheek.

“You have your grandmother's eyes.” His soft expression of remembrance tainted with guilt fell away. “They will betray you. I can teach you how to guard your feelings, but you cannot change those eyes. Those you must hide.”

“Hide?”

“You are the grandson of Darth Vader. I think that entitles you to a mask if you so choose.”

Ben nodded, moving to sit on the edge of his bed. 

“When must I go?”

“You cannot delay. This deception will take time. Take tonight to be with your parents, but tomorrow you must find a way to ensure you are sent to your uncle. He has already begun preparations for your task.”

“Thank you, grandfather.”

“I must go now, but I will never be too far if you should need me. You will not be alone in this, I swear to you.”

And with that, he faded away, leaving Ben to his thoughts. One night. That's all he had left with his parents. It was already late in the evening, they'd likely be going to bed soon. Ben looked out his window, seeing storm clouds about to burst, periodically lighting up with bolts of electricity. 

He sat there a moment longer, contemplating what to do, when there was a knock at his door.

“Ben, sweety, are you alright?” It was his mother. “Not to be nosy, but something didn't feel right, so I wanted to make sure you were alright.” He should've known she'd be able to feel grandfather's presence, along with his turmoil. He took a deep breath to steady himself and made his way to the door, opening it to find his mother's concerned face staring back at him.

“I'm alright, mother.” He tried to manage a smile. “Actually, I was wondering if we could all sit out in the conservatory for a little while. We hardly ever spend time together just the three of us anymore.”

Leia looked surprised at this, likely imagining the last thing her brooding teenage son would want would be to spend more time with his parents. 

“Of course we can, honey. Whatever you want.” She smiled at him, turning to make her way down the hall. Ben followed her to the living area where his father sat reading a data pad.

“Everything alright?” He asked, looking up from his pad.

“Apparently. Han, put that thing down, our son has requested we spend some time together as a family tonight.” He looked as surprised as Leia had, but simply nodded his head, grumbling slightly as he tossed the pad onto a nearby table.

“What's up, kiddo?” He smiled tiredly, wiping a hand down his face.

“Nothing, it's just, it looks like it might rain, so I thought we might go sit in the conservatory so we could watch the storm. Like when I was little.” He glanced between his parents, hoping they couldn't sense why he was in need of such familiar comfort.

“I think that sounds like a wonderful idea, don't you Han? I think we could all use the time to relax a little.” 

The little family walked out to the glass enclosure attached to their modest apartment, taking a seat on the comfortable bench that sat out there. Ben sat between his parents, trying his best to memorize every last detail of this moment. There was a crack of thunder, and the sky opened up, pelting the glass with heavy drops. Han and Leia sat back against the bench, both slightly confused, but happy nonetheless at this unexpected bit of family time. 

Ben seemed to be observing everything in slow motion, trying to take in everything: his mother’s smell, light and comforting, his father's very much like an engine; the soft smile on his mother’s face, and how incredibly small she suddenly seemed sitting next to him. How can a woman so much larger than life possibly be so small, he found himself wondering. Both his parents seemed perfectly content, sitting there in the storm, doubtless both were light years away, remembering other such storms. His father had an arm slung over the back of the bench, over his shoulders, hand resting at the nape of his mother’s neck, its weight comforting. 

In that moment, the Solo family was truly at peace. Neither parent could imagine the changes that would soon come. That had to happen. Ben didn’t think about how both his parents would likely be horrified of what he must soon become. No, just for one night, the Solo family sat in comfortable silence, steadfast in their love for one another, and listened to the rain.


	5. Chapter 5

A few days after seeing Rey and Chewbacca off in the Falcon, Leia finally had a moment to herself. She’d been throwing herself into her work, putting off the inevitable breakdown that would start her grieving. Finally, with seemingly nothing left to do, and several concerned underlings recommending she get some sleep, Leia was ushered back to her quarters. 

Once alone, the emotional walls she’d hastily erected began crumbling down. She collapsed on her bed, exhausted, and finally letting herself feel the full weight of Han’s loss. Silent tears streamed down her face, her breathing constricted like a great weight rested on her chest. Her throat tightened, but no sobs escaped. She was beyond that. She felt the part of her soul that belonged to him ache with the loss, like a black hole threatening to consume her from the inside. Her pulse pounded in her ears for what seemed like an eternity. She tried taking a deep, calming breath, and that was when she heard it. 

She rushed to the window, pulling aside the curtains. It was raining. A choked laugh escaped her as she placed a palm to the cool window. The tears still flowed, but a small smile was tugging at the corners of her mouth. She felt a sudden sense of calm at the sound, closing her eyes and just listening. Her breathing evened out, though the tears still came. She reached out with the Force, trying to lose herself in the sensation. If she focused hard enough, she could almost feel his presence, trying to console her.

So she brought a chair to the window, sat down, and closed her eyes. And she listened to the rain.

**********************************

Somewhere in the far reaches of space, a Star Destroyer passed by. On board, Kylo Ren had locked himself in his quarters, promising a painful death to anyone who dared bother him. He was in a sort of numb shock from the events on Starkiller base. So he did the only thing that came to mind.

He turned his shower to full cold, stepping inside, sliding down to the floor, and closing his eyes.

There was no rain in space, so Ben Solo made his own.


	6. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Carrie.

On a small, blue planet, in a galaxy far, far away, there stood a lone figure. They had felt a great disturbance in the Force; a great loss. They stood outside, staring up at the night sky, trying to come to terms with what had happened. Their gaze was drawn to one corner of the sky, where a brilliantly bright star burned where they did not remember there being one before. They stood, silent, in awe of its beauty. And as they stood, a single drop of rain fell upon their cheek. It was soon joined by more, the drops streaking down their face in a warm caress, washing away the tears that had come. Soon, a summer shower engulfed them, soaking them through as they stood, gaze still transfixed upon the star above. A sense of calm washed over them, and they stretched out their arms as a smile came to their face. Overhead, the star continued to burn brightly in the sky, and the figure basked in its radiance, soaked to the bone as they listened to the rain hit the ground around them. In that moment, they found peace. They reached out with the Force:

They loved her.

She knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned in the original description for this fic, I find rain incredibly soothing. I am still trying to come to terms with the loss of Carrie Fisher, who meant so much to me and so many others as so much more than just Princess Leia. But it rained today. And there's a star out my window burning so bright right now, that I can't help but feel like she's trying to let us know she's ok and we shouldn't be sad. 
> 
> Until we meet again, space mom.


End file.
